


Existing

by evakayaki



Category: Druck | SKAM (Germany)
Genre: Angst, Drabble, Emotional Hurt, I Don't Even Know, M/M, NOT written in first person, Pre-Road Trip, References to Illness, Sad, Short, Short One Shot, This will hurt, matteo's POV, not quite freeform, read trigger warnings in end notes
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-07-08
Updated: 2019-07-08
Packaged: 2020-06-24 15:44:23
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 339
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19726717
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/evakayaki/pseuds/evakayaki
Summary: Just give them the summer. That’s all he needed. Just let him have the summer and then he’d let whatever happen. He’d make that deal with himself.





	Existing

**Author's Note:**

> PLEASE READ END NOTES.
> 
> Trigger warnings in end notes (you will be 100% spoiled)

We walk this earth destined to find love. Matteo thought he read that somewhere, or maybe he just made it up. He didn’t know about the destiny part, but he had found love.

He was happy.

He had found his anchor.

He had found his now.

But just like everything else in his life, it was slipping through his fingers. It felt like sand dissolving into the wind. The more he tried to hold on, the more he lost.

It wasn’t his fault, but it rested on him. _Always him_.

He didn’t want to be in this place again.

He didn’t want to say goodbye.

He didn’t want to hold on any longer.

He was only eighteen.

When did this become so hard? Why did it become so hard? Wasn’t love supposed to be easy?

He really didn’t want to let go of love. He couldn’t let go of David now that they’d found each other.

But he had to.

Just give them the summer. That’s all he needed. Just let him have the summer and then he’d let whatever happen. He’d make that deal with himself.

“I have something to tell you,” he’d whispered into the dark bedroom, head resting on David’s chest, arm wrapped around David’s waist.

“Hmm,” David’s fingers carded through his hair and he heard the first inklings of sleep in his boyfriend’s voice.

“I, uh, I...I...let’s take a road trip.” _Fuck_.

David snorted, “Where would we go?”

“Amsterdam! Detroit! We’ll just go. See the stars in new places,” he held onto David’s waist a little tighter.

“Okay,” David was amused, “Let’s do it. After the abiball.”

He nodded and went silent for a few seconds.

“I wanted to tell you that I...I...love you.” _Coward_.

“Love you too,” David was already falling under into sleep.

“David?” When he got no response except for a soft snore, he gently kissed the skin under his head. “David, I...” he couldn’t even say it when no one but himself would hear.

_I have cancer._

**Author's Note:**

> Trigger Warning - SPOILER ALERT (scroll down to very end - you will be 100% spoiled) 
> 
> I've been trying to determine why my last few stories have not really gotten the read counts, comments or kudos my others have (I.E. "Shakshuka" - my personal fave thing I've written, and "Give Me Room for my Imperfections.") Of course, I don't write for that purpose, but I would like to get your feedback on if there's something you don't like that I'm writing. I do have to admit that I'm becoming unmotivated to write the more I see my numbers slipping. And, please don't take this as a plea for readers, comments, kudos etc., but a genuine _"is it me"_ thing. 
> 
> OKAY, now onto _why_ this drabble (which may turn into story if enough people like it). I don't know where this came from, because I normally don't write out of canon compliance. I had my playlist on random and "The Fault in Our Stars" by Troye Sivan came on and this came out, maybe because I recently lost someone to cancer. But hopefully you liked it. If you do want to hear the song, it's at the top of my Spotify playlist: 
> 
> https://open.spotify.com/playlist/4kghEcmuhBmoRtvHNud7kG?si=q6U6mWvlTmiVdl5LJLJLWA
> 
> (Also, I deleted my Twitter because I always forgot to post and didn't really keep up with it).
> 
> WARNINGS: Matteo has cancer.


End file.
